All of these li…

All of these lines across my face
tell you the story of who i am.
So many stories of where i’ve been,
and how i got to where i am.

But these stories don’t mean anything when you’ve got no one to tell them to
Its true, that i was made for you.

You see the smile that’s on my mouth,
it’s hiding the words that dont come out.
All of my friends who think that im blessed,
they dont know that my head is a mess.
No they dont know who i really am,
and they dont know what I’ve been through,
but you do, and i was made for you.

This quote is from a song called The Story, originally by Brandi Carlisle, however the version i’ve been listening to is by Sara Ramirez, after hearing it in the musical Grey’s Anatomy episode. I fell in love with the song in the episode, and have had it on repeat for days. I love the words of it. “All of these lines across my face tell you the story of who i am. So many stories of where i’ve been and how i got to where i am.” I think that sentence in itself is pretty special. (Also, imagine if people could literally see all of your stories just by the lines on your face, how cool/creepy/embarrassing/revealing would that be?!) I also love the sentence – “All of my friends who think that i’m blessed, they don’t know that my head is a mess.” – because frankly, it’s quite often true! 

I also like that the last line of “i was made for you” could refer to a boyfriend/girlfriend, just a friend, or actually, to God. 

All in all, i like the song, and the lyrics. 🙂

Everlasting love

So, i haven’t posted anything in nearly a month now – not intentionally, it’s just been a crazy few weeks – and i’ve got so much I now want to write. Trouble is, i’m not quite sure where to start. There is so much going on in my head at the minute – it’s full of information being thrown at me in lectures about experimental design and stats, social class and inequality, and Descartes and his meditations. There’s a whole load of thinking going on about God, and things that being a part of the CU (Christian union) have made me think about/learn/consider. There’s also a whole load of random crap swirling around, relative to living on my own, friendships and relationships, work, everything really. So yeah, my head is pretty full at the minute. So i’m not really sure where this post will end up!

I’m taking Psychology, Sociology, and Philosophy this year, and so far, they’re all going well. I’m really only taking Philosophy because i had to choose another class to take and it sounded pretty interesting and a bit challenging, and so far it certainly is. Not necessarily for the reasons i thought it would be though. I expected it to be hard as it’s something i’ve never studied before and there would be a lot of confusing knowledge to learn (and don’t get me wrong, there is!!), but it’s turning out to be challenging in other ways too. We’re studying the philosopher Descartes at the minute, and his famous Meditations. Long story short, he decided he wanted to find out which of his current beliefs were true, and could be proved beyond any doubt to be certain. He was also looking for a new account of the world that was consistent with both science and the existence of God. Basically, he uses a method of doubt to work out which of his former beliefs to retain and which to reject. If there could be even the slightest bit of doubt in something, then there are grounds for it being false. Or that’s what he went with, for the purpose of the project. I’ve only read the first two meditations so far, and it is seriously interesting (to me anyway). I’m seriously intrigued to keep reading to find out what he ends up with. 

But it’s an interesting concept. How can you ever know what is certain? As someone who is far too good at doubting things anyway, this has really struck me. I doubt things all the time; people’s real feelings/motives, my own abilities, God, most things really. And throughout the past couple of weeks i’ve been trying really hard not to let this doubt creep into my belief in God..but i’m not going to lie, I don’t find it easy! 

At the same time however, i’m getting constant reassurance of God’s love. I have joined GUCU – Glasgow University Christian Union. Their tagline is – “We exist to give every student on campus an opportunity to hear and respond to the gospel of Jesus Christ”. Which sort of explains it all really! They have weekly prayer meetings (which are at the disgusting hour of 8 in the i’ve not actually made one of them yet!!) as well as weekly get togethers called ‘team time’ – in which essentially they meet for worship and a sermon, to “get encouraged and equipped in our mission”. There are also smaller Hall (or home in my case) groups for freshers which are like Bible Study groups that meet weekly as well. I went to some of the freshers events they held and was overwhelmed by the amount of people that were there. I suppose when you think of it on the scale of how many students there are at the uni in total it’s not that many, but for a Christian group, it felt like loads! I thought it was pretty cool how many young people were there acknowledging and sharing in their love of God – it’s not something you experience all that often, and it certainly wasn’t something i was expecting to come across at uni! I was also overwhelmed by how friendly and welcoming everyone was, and how easily people talked about God and church. (Just to avoid the geeky stereotype, we’re not completely obsessed and it’s not all we talk about!!) But it definitely surprised me to see how many people were proud of their faith and happy to share it (not in an in your face ‘bible bashing’ sort of way either!) rather than being ashamed of it or afraid to talk about it. 

At todays bible study group the main point we finished on was pretty much that God’s love is there for anyone and everyone who wants it, and that he loves us regardless of what we have done. It’s unconditional, and everlasting. You can’t complain at that can you? I mean really, what more can we ask for? There are few people on earth that would be able to say they’d love you regardless of what you’ve done or the mistakes you make. 

I can’t lie, just like Descartes, i know things can be doubted, and those doubts do sometimes creep in. But i also know that God loves us, and always will. God is Awesome. (i think the word ‘awesome’ is used way too often, but i think this is proper use of the word!!)

I had my iPod on shuffle earlier and the lyrics of a song i didn’t even recognise really caught my attention, and they seem like a good way to end the post:

“When i talk to you I know You listen, and when i’m scared I always know that You are there. In your presence i will feel Your comfort, that’s why i know that i can come to You in prayer. It’s in the stillness that You touch me, and show me just how much You care. And as my heart fills with Your wonder, i know You are always there. You are always there, You are always there. And Your love will never cease, You fill me with your peace, You are always there. You are always there, You are always there. When i come to You in prayer i know that You are always there. “

“Stand firm and be strong in your faith” 1 Peter 5:9