Writer’s block

So, i’ve decided to give this blogging thing a rest for a while. I quite enjoyed it, but to be honest, i’ve ran out of things to say. And i don’t want to just write a load of rubbish, so nothing at all seems a better option. I might give it another go in a while, but i don’t know.. maybe it’s just not for me after all!

Over and out, Rx

the reason

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It does. It must. Don’t you just wish sometimes that you could know what that reason is though? Or what part of God’s massive plan one simple little event is? I certainly do. It’s easy enough to say everything happens for a reason, but I seriously struggle sometimes with not knowing what that reason is. It’s all about faith. Faith and trust I guess. Two things that aren’t always easy to have.

“faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”

it’s all about me

So i thought i’d do a post revealing a little bit more about myself. Likes, dislikes, pet hates, those kind of things. Be prepared for lots of lists and the odd bit of light hearted ranting. ūüôā

Likes:

  • TV – I have to say I watch a fair bit of TV. Nothing particularly intellectual or necessarily brilliant acting, but just stuff I enjoy. I’m quite a fan of police/detective-y shows, soaps, chick flicky dramas and the odd comedy show.¬†

CSI, CSI:NY, NCIS, NCIS LA, Castle, Rizzoli & Isles, Eastenders, Coronation Street, River City, Neighbours, Miranda and 90210 all have a spot on my series link. I also recently developed a love of One Tree Hill. 

My all time favourite however, is Friends.¬†It’s a timeless classic. It was funny at the time and it’s still hilarious, and yet there’s a sincerity about some of it that gives it something extra. I’ve got the full dvd set, and can recite the lines to most episodes!!!¬†

  • Music – I know lots of people say they have a really wide taste in music, but I’m not joking when I say I must have one of the weirdest, most eclectic mixes of music on my iPod. Pretty much every genre is in there somewhere, and putting it on shuffle is always a risky strategy. From cheesy pop to brass bands, indie to classical, rock to soundtrack, r&b to religious, and even the odd bit of ‘rave’ music… i’ve literally got it all.

I put it on shuffle to get some examples of the weird and wonderful selection:

Robbie Williams > Derick Kane > Michael Jackson > Of monsters and men > Dolly Parton  > James Blunt > Black Eyes Peas > ISB > Busted > Phil Collins > Razorlight > Disney Magic Kingdom Soundtrack Music > Coldplay > Phantom of the Opera > Christina Perri > Dirty Dancing >  Jason Mraz > Usher > Boyzone > Paramore > Wicked soundtrack > Royal Philharmonic Orchestra > Pink > Steps 

And that was all finished with ‘We wish you a Merry Christmas’. I mean, what more could you want from a music collection? It’s safe to say it’s varied.. the one’s above are only a tiny example (i’ve got 18.3 days worth of music on my iTunes… and i don’t even have everything on there…). I do like music…

  • Holidays – my favourite time of year! There is absolutely no denying that throughout my life so far I have been completely spoiled when it comes to holidays. So far i’ve visited 16 different countries, and have been to the USA 6 times. France, Cyprus, Crete, Tenerife, San Francisco, LA, New York, Florida, Washington DC, Italy, Mexico just to name a few of the truly wonderful holidays i’ve been lucky and privileged enough to go on. The main thing i love is the sunshine and the heat (when you’re used to Scottish weather, some sun can make all the difference!!!), but I love being able to visit different countries and see different landmarks and experience different cultures. And most importantly – eat lots of different food!!!! There are so many places i want to see, and I can’t wait to go to the US in 5 weeks time (woooo!!!!). Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam (from a geeky higher geography perspective, i’m quite excited for this bit haha!), Hollywood, LA, and all with my fav people. What more could you want?!

dislikes:

  • Eating noises – If there’s one thing that drives me absolutely insane, it’s eating noises. Loud crunching, chewing, slurping, eating with mouth open, just any noises that arise when people are eating. I can’t handle it. As both Matt and my parents would clarify, as i frequently shout, huff, and literally leave the room cos it drives me so crazy. I don’t even know why, but it just gets under my skin so much! There will be times i can be sitting absolutely fizzing in silence because someone is doing one of the above crimes, but it’d be too rude to say so (friends, adults etc.). It’s actually crazy how much it winds me up, but it does. And from a family of fairly noisy eaters, it’s safe to say i don’t enjoy big family meals, from that aspect anyway!
  • Talking on the phone – I detest it. Never ever try phoning me, because i just will not answer. (as Matthew will again oh so frustratingly vouch for..my missed calls list is pretty much just his name over and over!) As a somewhat socially inept human being, phone calls just aren’t my thing. I hate having to think on the spot, and the awkward small talk (or failing that, awkward silences). I always end up getting flustered and talking a load of rubbish, and i’d much rather send a text.. that way you’ve got more time to think of a response! Roslyn and phone calls = does not happen.¬†
  • The Hairdressers – Again, my social awkwardness plays a part in this one too. One thing i hate about the trip to the hairdressers is the awkward small talk they insist on making with you. I know it’s their job, but i’d much prefer to have my hair chopped at in silence. (plus, i always worry they’re not really paying attention if they’re blethering away?!!) I know for a fact that the stylist couldn’t care less where i’m going on holiday, and the girl washing my hair isn’t remotely interested in what i’m doing with my weekend (even if i do almost always say ‘not much’). So that’s one aspect i don’t enjoy at all. I equally can’t stand the sinks they use to wash your hair. What even are they?! Whoever came up with them clearly had no neck muscles. I think they were designed to create pain in your neck to distract you from the fact that the cheery assistant is scalding your scalp whilst you answer ‘yes’ to “is the water temp okay”? (is it just me that always says yes regardless?). The final awkward hairdressers moment i dislike is the part when they use a mirror to show you the back of your head. What sort of reaction are you really meant to give?!! “Oh yes, that’s lovely. That cut really suits the back of my head.” I mean really, what even? So again, Roslyn + Hairdressers = awkward experience i like to avoid!

 

Now clearly this is just a tiny insight into a few of the things that make me ‘me’, and the dislikes are of course purely trivial. Like i said in my last post, i really have nothing to complain about at all! and people should totally smile more!!¬†

 

“I can’t change the world
Cos tryin’ to make a difference makes things worst
It’s just an observation I can’t ignore
That people should smile more”

 

Smile more

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I was met with this when I logged onto Facebook first thing this morning as a friend had posted it. A friend who has had a hell of a rougher time than I have, not just recently, but in life in general, and yet rarely let’s it get her down. And yet I moan about pretty much everything. Safe to say I was put in my place!!

“people should smile more”

Emotions

Found this on facebook earlier..

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Seen as a weakness to some, a strength to others. Personally, I think I’d like to see it as a strength. I’m a bit of a fan of showing emotions. Sometimes.

Blessings

Blessings, by Laura Story.

“We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It’s not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise”

I’m not sure I really need to add anything to that to be honest, because if you look at the words, like really read them properly, you should definitely get enough food for thought, and hopefully a bit more than that too. I know they certainly reassure me…

“what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?”

For some reason (unknown to me..) i’m a bit down tonight. Maybe i’m just feeling sorry for myself (loaded with the cold and don’t have the patience for it….) or something, but I just don’t have much energy ¬†or motivation, and to be perfectly honest, feel pretty lonely. (I know, first world problems indeed!!) So i decided to look through my old Bebo account. (remember when we all used that before we got addicted to Facebook?!) Which turned out to be quite amusing. The profiles and pictures both myself and some of my friends had were brilliant..not necessarily in a way we’d be proud of now though haha! I found a lot of those Q&A things we used to do in the blog bit of our profiles, and thought i’d fill one out with up to date info, just for the fun of it.¬†

 

ARE YOU:

1. a cuddler? To some people, yeah
2. a morning person? Definitely not!!!!!
3. a perfectionist? Sometimes
4. An only child?: Yeah
5. catholic?: Nope
6. in your nightwear?: Yeah
7. currently suffering from a broken heart?: No
8. good at styling other people’s hair? Not particularly
10. addicted to social networking? Maybe a bit?……
11. shy around the opposite gender? just shy in general to be honest!!

DO YOU:

12. bite your nails? now and again
13. get paranoid at times? sometimes
14. currently regret something that you have said? yeah actually..
15. curse frequently when you get mad? no, not really
16. enjoy country music?: not particularly
17. enjoy jazz music?: sometimes
18. enjoy smoothies?: they’re okay
19. enjoy talking on the phone?: Not at all!!
20. have a lot to learn? yeah, indeed
21. have a pet?: nope
22. have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” person? hope not¬†
23. have all your grandparents? nope, got 2 left, missing the other 2 lots!
24. have at least one sibling?: nope, only child
25. have been told that you are smart?: yeah haha
26. have a broken bone? nope (touch wood!)
27. have Caller I.D. on your phone?: doesn’t everyone these days?

HAVE YOU:

28. changed a nappy?: nope !
29. changed a lot over the past year? a bit
31. had surgery?: nope (touch wood again)
32. killed another person?: No

LAST PERSON WHO:

2. Saw you cry? Kerryn (on Saturday..at a funeral)
3. went to the movies with you?: Matt
4. you went to the mall with? Matt
5. you went to dinner with?: Matt, Emma and Michael
6. you talked on the phone? Mother
7. said ‘I love you’ to and really meant it? Matt
8. broke your heart?: no one, thankfully
9. made you laugh? my dad

WOULD YOU RATHER?

1. pierce your nose or tongue?: none, but nose if i had to choose
2. be serious or be funny?: somewhere in the middle
3. drink whole or skim milk?: none, don’t like milk!!
4. die in a fire or drown?: neither!
5. spend time with your parents or enemies?: parents

ARE YOU:

1. Simple or complicated?: can i answer that? better asking people that know me!
2. Gay? Nope
3. In love? Yeah

DO YOU PREFER:

1. flowers or chocolates: chocolates
2. gray or black?: black
3. color or black and white photos?: colour 
4. lust or love?: love 
5. sunrise or sunset?: sunset
6. m&ms or skittles?: skittles
7. Staying up late or wakin up early?: up late, I don’t do mornings

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY !!

1. do you like anyone? yeah
2. do they know it?: yeah

DO YOU PREFER…

1. Sun or moon?: Sun
2. winter or fall?: Winter
3. left or right? right
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? best friends
5. sun or rain?: sun
6. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: vanilla 

UNIQUE!

1. nervous habits: picking side of thumb, checking my phone
2. are you double jointed?: nope
3. can you roll your tongue?: nope 
4. can you raise one eyebrow?: nope
5. can you cross your eyes?: sort of 
6. do you make your bed daily? usually 
7. which shoe goes on first? whichever i pick up first
9. ever thrown one at someone? probably
10. on the average, how much money do you carry with you ?: not much, spend it too quickly!
11. what jewellery do you wear:? rings, watch and usually a necklace

ABOUT YOU:

1. what time is it?: 23:29
2. name?: Roslyn
3. nickname(s): ros, rose, rossy
4. where were you born?: Bellshill
5. what is your birthdate?: 10th september
6. what do you want? to be loved, and happy
7. where do you want to live?: somewhere sunny. failing that, Scotland. 
8. how many kids do you want?: 2 or 3 maybe?
9. do you want to get married? yeah
10. what have you always wanted? a sister

 

It’s surprising which of my answers changed and which didn’t from when i’d filled this in the first time round, about 4 years ago. I wont share which, i’ll let you decide which they are.¬†

 

don’t worry, be¬†happy!!

quotes r us

I also happened to log onto Tumblr for the first time in ages tonight, and a load of quotes stuck out at me. I’m not sure why most of them did, but I’m going to share them anyway.

“A true friend is not like the rain that pours and then goes. It’s more like the air; sometimes keeping quiet but it’s always there, constantly hanging around.”

“It doesn’t make sense to call ourselves ugly, because we don’t really see ourselves.
We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed curled up and silent, chests rising and falling with our own rhythm.
We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing.
You don’t see yourself looking at someone with care and love inside your heart.
There’s no mirror in your way when laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you.
Because you would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments that make you truly beautiful.

“You’ve got to love the people in your life who can make you smile when all you want to do is cry, because THEY are the ones worth everything”

“Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the one who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference

“To prove love is real is not about how long you’ve been together or how close or happy you were, it is in how many times you argue and reconcile, finding differences but still choosing to be with each other.”

“Best friends are people who make your problems their problems, just so you don’t have to go through them alone.”

“I hope you live a life you’re proud of.”

“Sometimes it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one in the world who’s struggling, who’s frustrated, or in satisfied, or barely getting by. But that feeling’s a lie. But if you just hold on. find the courage to face it all for another day, then someone, or something, will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in our world.”

“Don’t be afraid, just believe.”

happy days

“When the future looked hopeless and I’d given up,
when I had lost sight of my dreams.
Somebody near, dried every tear,
Somebody prayed for me

This is a verse of a song sung by choirs in the Salvation Army that I really like. I first heard it when it was sung at my Grandpa’s funeral in 2006 (to think I wasn’t even in the army then seems crazy compared to where I am now!), and for obvious reasons the song is particularly special to me.

The song in general speaks of times when you’ve been struggling, and someone else has prayed to God for you, when you’ve found it too hard to do so yourself. I particularly like the verse I’ve quoted above, because I can really relate to it.

Last year at music school, I admitted (both to others and myself) just how much I hated what I was doing with my life. I hated uni and the course I was doing, but had no idea what else to do. I really had ‘lost sight of my dreams’. But throughout the course of that week, I fretted about it, I did indeed cry about it, and I spoke to people about it. During the final cell group meeting of the week, and ‘the greeting meeting’, i chatted to people and spoke about how miserable I was and how much I was despairing over what to do. I was comforted, reassured and given advice, and several people said they’d pray for me.

Now, this might just be me being sceptical, but often when you hear someone say ‘I’m praying for you’, I tend to think ‘yeah right…like you’ll actually do it!’ Like I said, maybe I’m just being harsh, but I do tend to doubt that they’ll stick to their word.

Now, I’ll never know for sure if anyone did actually pray for me that week unless they tell me… I’d certainly like to hope they did, but I really think at least someone must have. Because to be honest, God has answered those prayers!! I’m no longer lost and confused about what to do, and I’m actually excited (all be it terrified) to start my psychology degree in September!

I can’t think of anything more reassuring than knowing that even if you’re struggling too much to do it yourself, someone else might just be saying that little prayer for you that will make all the difference.

happy days

I won’t give up

“It’s a reminder that even on the worst days there’s a possibility for joy.” Kate Beckett, Castle.

That quote is from my current favourite tv show, Castle. (which, by the way, if you haven’t seen it before, you should totally watch it. It’s like CSI but with humour, a ‘ruggedly handsome’ man, and a will-they-won’t-they love story..it’s awesome!) And I fell in love with it after hearing it the other day. In the show, the quote is spoken by the lead female to describe a toy kept from a special, fun afternoon out with her father following her mother’s funeral. And though the quote goes with that situation, it’s very easy to apply it to your own life. I love the positivity and possibility that comes from that one little sentence, bringing with it hope for days when you really, really need it.

I won’t give up…