I’m really in the mood to write something, but for some reason I can’t seem to get my thoughts to form into anything readable. This isn’t a new thing, but for once, my head is full of a million positive things that i want to write down and share, instead of teenage tales of woe. I know there’s a lot of cheesy, sentimental stuff in my blog, and there’s every chance that there are people judging me for writing such emotional, idealistic posts, thinking it’s all just talk, but quite frankly I don’t care. That’s just who I am. I used to be so good at being negative about pretty much everything and i’m trying damn hard to change that. I might not always succeed at it, but I’m trying. And to be quite honest, what’s wrong with a bit of cheesy sentiment now and then? It’s certainly better than pure negativity, no?

Now that outburst is over, I’m still no closer to putting these thoughts into any readable form. So random outbursts is going to be the way this post continues I’m afraid.
Do you ever get a day when the tiniest, most random thing can totally make your day special? That happened to me today, and it was the result of a conversation with a thirteen year old girl. (one i’m friends with, not just some random kid ha!) We’d been chatting on Facebook and I’d been absentmindedly giving her advice on a couple of things, not really thinking much of it. After chatting for a while, she thanked me, saying I always know how to make her smile and think of the positives instead of the negatives. She then added that that’s what makes me so special, and like her big sister.
Now, being the softhearted, sappy kind of person (who’s always dreamt of having a sister…) that I am, this really touched me. I was kind of flattered and a wee bit teary (like I said, I’m a big softie really!), but also slightly proud of myself if I’m honest. That might sound weird, but I was proud that I’d managed to make a good impact on her and her day, and ultimately cheer her up. She’s an awesome girl, but we all need inspiration sometimes, and I’m touched to think I was hers for today. It’s the little things in life that make the difference, and I think that was one of those things.

I think that’s all for now. I’ve got some more thoughts stirring, but I’ll wait til they’re in a more logical form before I attempt to write them down. I have a feeling I could be coming up to a turning point at some point in the next few months, (or have I already began to turn that corner? we’ll see…) but a combination of these two song lyrics can sum that up for now…

“I’d rather make sandcastles instead of these wide world decisions”Kate Voegele – Sandcastles

“I’m just finding my feet…heading out on my own”Gabrielle Aplin – Out on my own


“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What?! You too? I thought I was the only one!’
C.S. Lewis

I love that quote, and it sums up quite a few of my friendships, particularly some that have began or simply grown stronger recently. There’s something amazing, in my eyes anyway, about realising you’re not ‘the only one’ who thinks/feels someway about something or another. It stops you feeling alone, and is indeed amazing, comforting, and often oh so relieving (to discover you’re not mad, and if so, there’s more than one of you who is!!)
Thank God for friends, ay?

Friendship…is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”
Muhammad Ali

Lean on me

I had my iPod on shuffle in the car today (which if you knew how eclectic my taste in music is, you’d know risky that can be!), and two different versions of the following song, “Lean on Me” came on in the space of 10 mins.

“Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain, we all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow

Lean on me when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on

Please, swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won’t let show

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on”

Listening to it twice (though I can’t lie..I was singing along pretty loudly..) made me stop and listen to what the lyrics were really saying, and I came to the conclusion that i like it. I particularly like the verse: Please, swallow your pride if I have things you need to borrow, for no one can fill those of your needs that you won’t let show.
Cos basically it’s telling you not to suffer in silence. Which i know fine well is often all to easy to do, because I do it myself all the time. But it’s generally pretty evident that it’s better not to be on your own to deal with things…a problem shared and all that?

I really hope there are people who know they can ‘lean on me’..because as it says, it won’t be long til I’ll need someone to lean on too.

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another. Charles Dickens

I can do all things

“what would you try if you knew you could not fail?”

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, but sometimes I wonder what he can do through me.
No great success to show, no glory on our own,
yet in our weakness He is there to let us know..

His strength is perfect when our strength is gone.
He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on,
Raised in his power the weak become strong.
His strength is perfect, his strength is perfect.

We can only know the power that he holds, when we truly see how deep our weakness goes.
His strength in us begins when ours comes to an end,
He hears our humble cry and proves again…

His strength is perfect when our strength is gone.
He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on.
Raised in his power the weak become strong.
His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect.”

I heard this song for the first time about a week and a half ago now, and I literally can’t get it out of my head. It speaks volumes and has seriously got the power to keep you going when you’re struggling. Well God has, and he uses the words in the song to do so.

That verse keeps popping up lately, and it’s a perfect reminder that you’re not on your own.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Never Never Never give up

never,never,never give up

So this post is going to be a bit of a catch up on where my life’s at just now.
I’ll start off with work shall I? Well I resigned from Primark in December after working there for 18 months, and actually when it finally came down to it, I was slightly sad to be leaving! (although delighted to have my weekends back, and to not have to tidy sunglasses or sale stands again!!) I’m now a Checkouts Customer Assistant in a brand new Tesco Metro store in Glasgow, and I’m loving it! I’ve got fantastic shifts, (no early mornings, late nights or weekends..result!!), the staff are all really nice, and I’m loving getting to meet and chat to so many different customers. It sounds so basic, but particularly with some of the more elderly customers, it’s a great feeling when they’re truly appreciative for your help and a quick chat, and it’s nice to think you might have made even the smallest positive impact on someone’s day. (cheesy or what?!)

Topic 2 – Studying.
So I think in my last update, I’d just ‘voluntarily suspended’ my Business Degree at Strathy, and was frantically trying to decide where to go next. Well, after months of stressing and deliberating over what I’d be good at and more importantly, what I’d enjoy, I came to a conclusion. So in January I sent away my UCAS application, applying for MA’s in Psychology at various University’s in Scotland’s Central belt. So far, I’m delighted to say I have two unconditional offers to study at Glasgow Uni (Psychology, and Psychology & Sociology), which I am over the moon about! So now just to wait and see what the other uni’s say, before I’m back to having to make more decisions about which to choose and whether to stay at home or not etc. etc. It wasn’t an easy decision to know what to apply for, but I think this bit of my personal statement explains in pretty well(even if a bit cheesy!)

“They involve studying people of the past, people from different cultures, and people’s minds. I was and continue to be captivated by the insights these different social sciences give into individuals’ behaviour and how much we are influenced by society and the culture we live in. I am eager to study psychology in a deeper context as I am intrigued and challenged by the concept of why people do what they do. From heroes to criminals, everyone has a reason for what they do, whether they are aware of it or not.”

So yeah, look out world, i’ll be assessing you all soon haha! But yeah overall, things are on the right track, and I couldn’t be happier.

Topic 3 – God.
This has always been a tricky topic for me to talk about, as I’m never quite sure how to put my thoughts on it all into words. I know there’s a God, and I know fine well that he’s a major part of my life. But despite the often overwhelming evidence that he does exist, and he has complete control over our lives, keeping us safe and on what is probably a pretty awesome plan for our lives, it can also be far too easy (for me anyway) to doubt the whole thing completely. I’ve always been someone who worries and doubts things, always looking for the negatives instead of the positives, so it’s all too often very easy for my brain to decide that it can’t be right. I’d been struggling a bit over the past year, and something someone (who has turned out to be a pretty massive influence on my life in recent months, though I’m sure they’re none the wiser!) said to me at music school last year has really stuck. We’d been talking how sometimes I can’t help thinking I’m making it all up because I like the idea of it.. that when I’m praying I’m really just talking to myself in my head. And the thing she said yet has really helped. She quoted a song called Blessed be the name, but in particular “My heart will choose to say”. So basically I have to start living by believing that all the God stuff is real before it’ll really fall into place. And it has. Without wanting to sound like a total religious nut, it’s so much easier to see all the amazing things God’s doing in your life when you’re not trying to block out the fact he’s there! So yeah that’s where I’m at with that I guess!

Topic 4 – Friends.
I’ve realised lately just how lucky I am. (I know, full of the cheesiness tonight.) But really, I am. I have so many amazing people in my life – all amazing in their own unique, equally crazy ways. I always used to long for that one ‘best friend’, but recently I’ve come to realise that I have several who mean the world to me, and as some of us start to move in different directions, I’m realising just how much I love having them in my life. We have so much fun, yet are always there to support each other when times aren’t quite so fun. And I’d have struggled a lot more this past year if it wasn’t for the support, reassurance, and love of some of these people. I really, truly hope they know who they are and how much they mean to me.

Topic 5 – the love of my life
Could this get any cheesier? Really? There’s not much i need to say on this one, other than i’m in love! Things were tough for a while, there’s no denying it. But after 4 years, 6 months and 13 days, (and minutes away from valentines day!) I can honestly say I am completely in love with Matthew. We’ve had so many amazing memories so far, and so many more to come (bring on California in june!!!!), and i’m such a happy, lucky girl. Good times indeed!

Anyway, enough of this cheesefest, I realise that ‘catch up’ was longer than your average school essay, and that probably not even one person will read it all (if any!!) but I was in the mood for writing and sharing just how great my life is right at this moment.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. Thoreau.