So last week was one of my favourites of the year, and something which always evokes a few blog posts – Music camp/music school/summer school..whatever you want to call it. A couple of weeks prior to going, I was asked if I would share my testimony at the beginning of the week, and despite semi-eagerly agreeing to do it, I ended up really nervous and physically shaking when I actually did it, so I thought I’d share it on here incase I spoke too fast at the time, or for anyone who wasn’t there that is remotely interested in reading it!
So Ian asked if I would give my testimony this week – although I wasn’t expecting it to be this soon!! – and share a bit about how God has been working to transform my life.
I’ve always been shy, quiet natured and quite reserved, and I would definitely describe myself as an introvert. I had always viewed these things as negatives, particularly because as a result of them, I’ve always found communicating face to face pretty difficult and awkward, and the thought of making a phone call practically brings me out in a cold sweat. I’m quite a deep thinker and I love a good deep discussion about things that matter to me, I’m just not very good at doing it in person. I am however a lot better at explaining myself on paper or by text. I found myself starting a blog a couple of years ago, more for my own sanity than with the aim of people reading it. I’d write about what I was feeling, and often I’d write about my faith – how things were, questions I had, things I didn’t understand and was struggling with. I eventually got brave enough to share it on Facebook and it turned out that people did read it, which was quite cool but also scary. Surprisingly though, every time I posted something I would get comments and messages, often from people I would never have expected to have read it never mind speak to me about it. People saying they could relate to what I was saying, or that they really needed to hear something I’d written, that it had made them think about their own faith. I was having an impact, albeit a small one, that I never expected to have. God was taking something about me I saw as a weakness, and transforming it into something positive. As a result I’ve had countless meaningful conversations that wouldn’t have otherwise happened, I’ve strengthened friendships, I’ve gained a huge amount of confidence in myself and the influence I can have and I’ve grown in my relationship with God.
The last time summer school was here at Strathallen 6 years ago I was so shy I only spoke to a handful of people – I know for a fact I only spoke in cells when I was forced to and the thought of standing here speaking to all of you would have made me run out the door. 6 years later I’ve grown up into someone who is, albeit still quite quiet, 100 times more confident, and a few weeks ago I did something that I would never have been capable of then. I went to junior camp as a staff member, which to be fair still terrified me now, but I did it. I was able to be a responsible adult that the kids could look up to and respect, and I was able to share my faith and help them grow in theirs. I joint-led a teaching session – talking to the kids as a group and helping to teach them about God. Something that would be nothing for some people but had me physically shaking before hand, and that I never thought I’d be capable of or brave enough to do. I was more anxious at the start of that week than I have been for anything in years and it was so far out of my comfort zone, but I took the decision at the start of the week to try to fully rely on God to guide me, help me and transform me into the more confident person he wanted me to be, and to my skeptical surprise, it worked. He didn’t let me down and he never does.
I’m currently going into my last year of my second attempt at uni, and I still have absolutely no idea what I want to do, or what I’m going to do with my life. This does lead to the odd panic now and again, but I’ve come to realise lately that whatever happens, everything will be okay, because God is there with me. Things like my blog and junior camp have shown me that God is constantly using me and constantly working in me to transform me into the person he made me to be, and I’m excited to see what he’s going to do next to transform my life.
– Also, there will be post-summer school posts coming soon 🙂 –