“But every time it matters all my words desert me”

This sums me up perfectly, and it frustrates me so much!!!!! Ever since I was little I’ve done this thing at night where I imagine situations in my head to help me get to sleep. That probably sounds weird, but it always works. Usually situations involving me helping/comforting/reassuring friends. (weird i know, but i’ve always been a bit soppy like that). I can plan out exactly what I’d say and do, even though chances are the situations would never ever arise. However occasionally something similar will happen, like a friend being upset or just needing a chat. Now in my head, I know what to do and say, but when it actually happens I’m just utterly useless. I hate being shy and never knowing what to say..it drives me insane. Give me a bit of paper or a phone and I can write or text exactly what I want to say, but I’m useless at saying things out loud. I’m fed up of not being able to verbalise things. Even in normal, insignificant life situations, i always think of the right thing i could have or should have said, 5 minutes after it happens. Which is no help at all!!!!!
Don’t you ever just wish you had somebody else’s skill set?!! Anyway, rant about how useless I am is over…. for now!!


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